I really thought I had things planned out. Being an ordinary 23 yr old, in some ordinary skin, I am finally setting up goals & plans for the life I am so ambitious to live.. the life I have been given but have not lived.. the irony of that, right? Of course, daily life brings daily tribulations & challenges. I have been focusing on the degree of what I thought healthy. Maybe my focus has not been enough. To give 110% is to give your life, life. To give your life a meaning. & to this degree I think to myself daily, speak to myself daily. What am I doing? What is my purpose? Do I show affection & love to those dear to me, enough affection & love so they understand my relation to them?
Send postcards. Send love letters. Send notes. Send birthday cards. Send flowers. Because the older we get, the easier it is to forget. Forget those closest to us, those who have helped us the most, those who have supported us the most. The easiest thing to do is give up. & here I am still wondering.. what in the hell am I going to do with this life I have been given without a choice?
To this I tell myself:
“kill them with kindness, & progress until the death.
Nothing spreads peace more than kindness, forgiveness, love, affection & that small, rare force that allows a second chance; a chance to make things better, a chance to say all those words I have been terrified to allow seep past my stubborn, god forbid, dangerous lips.”
The daily questions I ask myself & speak to myself about, consume intimate thoughts, dreams, emotions & reactions.
To be able to harness those, learn, develop, train ourselves for that daily need & hold a strength, strong enough to evolve, move forward & become better… that is the beauty in the human race. We aren’t at the top of the food chain for nothing.
The sun rises & sets for no one. Keep that in mind next time you want to be a bonehead. Sometimes beginnings aren’t so simple, sometimes goodbye is the only way.
Live the life you were given. Don’t waste such a precious opportunity to become something larger than yourself. & with that, I bid all of you adieu.
I must go where my pain is, to touch, & smell, & taste it. for the sensation of truth, leads to understanding.